February 2017 – Jen Goes Rogue

By Jen Hawse on Travel Philosophy tagged philosophy, plans, reflection, sadness, travel

Travel Doesn’t Change You

There’s a common belief that when you travel, you change. As in, your fundamental being evolves. You become stronger, wiser, more compassionate, and more worldly. People even think you become a truly better person.

There’s mystery in long term travel. The nomadic lifestyle is no longer the human norm that it was for millennia. Over 10,000 years ago we put down agricultural roots and stopped the incessant roaming. But, even before we planted those gardens we had maps in our heads and tracks passed down by our ancestors. We had a sense of direction, a path to follow. Traveling for travel’s sake takes the purpose out and replaces it with wandering.

We’ve been on the road for over 5 months now and have visited 10 countries on two continents. It’s our midway point, according to our plan, as we are endeavoring to spend 11 months abroad in total. It’s time for a mid-trip check in.

When we arrived in Korea I was convinced this wouldn’t last. I’d tell people, “Well, the plan is…” Instead of “We are going to” because I was not confident in our ability to make it the entire near year timeframe together without falling apart. I’m still not wholly convinced we will, but we’ve at least made it this far.

In terms of the good, there’s principally the food. Eating our way around the world has been a joy. We’ve tried a few things we’d never have had access to in the states along with dishes that are far more perfected here than back home. I’ll never look at Chinese food the same way again after Singapore and I sadly know I’ll never again find pork noodle soup that melts my soul in the same way.

This is not that soup, it’s laksa, but this soup is damn good!

Being able to experience cuisine as it’s culturally intended, like pho on little stools on the streets of Vietnam or fish from a world famous Japanese fish market, changes your relationship to the dish. It’s a way of directly participating in an active cultural exchange by doing something as simple as being part of a city’s natural rhythms. Experiencing food from this vantage point has been a highlight of my entire experience, even if it can be difficult to figure out what I’m ordering!

Another bold proclamation I can make is that I’m more adept at navigating a new city than I previously was. Moving once every 10 days, on average, during this trip has meant I need to re-coordinate my sense of direction, how to move through traffic, where I’m sleeping at night, and, if this is a good place for public transit, how to navigate that as well.

Other things I’ve also mastered include:

picking out a decent hotel, most of the time, for a reasonable rate.
walking across a busy street and not be hit by a motorbike, car, or bus (there’s no other way to cross the street in some places)
how to negotiate price with a street vendor (still working on that, but getting better!)
how to not feel so badly saying no, because I often have to say no
how to find little comforts in strange situations (something that for many decreases with age)

Balance is the key to life. By sharing negative feelings, my intention isn’t to drive pity in any way. I just don’t like adding a veneer of glitter to a situation that doesn’t always shine. False positivity for the sake of someone else’s well being doesn’t serve anyone. That said, I’ll share some truths I’ve felt along this journey thus far.

At writing, I have a yucky head cold, my second of the trip. At home, I’ll go a year without being sick. Now, I’m sick more often due to general contact with thousands of people and poorer hygienic conditions. I’m also battling traveler’s sickness (at writing, I’m feeling better), which kept me up for hours last night and in our hotel room all day today. I wish I could say I spent the day reading and researching, but I wasted it on the internet like I would at home. Overall, I feel physically off. It’s probably the cold and my body fighting for health, but something just doesn’t seem right.

Being here makes it that much more nerve wracking to be ill because, what if something is actually wrong with me? I have no “real” health insurance, we’re going to be in Vietnam for another three weeks and then head to even poorer conditions in Cambodia. There’s just no ability to just go to a decent doctor here and that frankly scares the shit out of me, whether I feel excellent or under the weather. Jason thinks I’m a paranoid hypochondriac. I imagine he’s probably right, but that doesn’t make my stomach stop hurting and my mind stop racing. For all of America’s faults at least when I’m at home AND can afford health insurance I could feasibly go to a doctor (and pay unknown amounts of money if something truly is the matter with me). Generally not feeling right for long stretches is not an enjoyable part of travel and I wonder how many other people feel this way when they take this kind of thing on.

Mentally, I’m full of ups and downs. This week I was able to see an old friend from home, twice, which enriched our experience and was something I was looking forward to for many months. Spending time with a friend who knows you, who isn’t your life/travel partner, is great for a refresh anywhere you are, but especially when you’re so far from home. Very grateful for our time together!

In terms of the life partner situation, being with someone 24/7 is strenuous for even the strongest of partnerships and so this has been a trying time for the two of us. I think, in some ways, we’ve made big strides from where we were before we left, because we have to rely on one another for help, but that same reliance can lead to resentment. Today, for example, Jason went to get me food because I didn’t feel well enough to leave the room, which I’m so grateful for. There are times though that I just want to do something myself, fully and completely, and it’s hard for me to communicate that well without being snarky. I can be quite mean to Jason at times and say things that hurt. I’m not always good at the whole emotional processing thing and can be terribly childish. It’s something I’ve got to work on every day and, unfortunately, hasn’t markedly improved over the past few months.

With no other outside outlets to really help us process our feelings, I can get a little stuck. Combine that with that we aren’t working and we aren’t doing anything besides travelling, there’s little else to draw our attention to other than the stupid internet outside of when we’re touring a new place. This can make one feel lonely and isolated. I’d love a hobby, but a portable hobby isn’t something I’ve figured out how to pick up yet.

Existential guilt is another fun feeling I’m encountering. Affording this lifestyle, regardless of how I “earned it” leaves me with a little shame. I’ve spoken about this before. Money is a tool, not a tie down to a certain place and I understand that very well, but it doesn’t make the guilt less prominent. I’m asked by everyone what I’m going to do when I go back home. I have no idea, honestly. Am I going to live in Baltimore? Am I going to work a normal job again? Am I going to go back to the 50+ hours per week work schedule norm? I feel like yes, that will most likely happen, and that’s why I don’t see how this trip is really transforming the person I am to someone I’d rather be. I’ll probably become more “normal” than when I left off I do end up having a child or buying a home, things that I’ve spoken about before not being strong driving forces in myself.

Work life balance is a great catch phrase, but watching people work all over the world makes me realize everyone puts in long hours for little wages to make ends meet. It’s imperative if you’re not independently wealthy. Maybe I’ll see a new world in Europe where human society has advanced, but it’s difficult to imagine. Regardless, you have to work, you have to make money, and you probably will find fault with even the most noble employer and their business practices.

Time is ceaseless and we’re already halfway through this epic adventure. Everyday, I want to take more risks, give more of my time and money to people and places that deserve it, provide a meaningful impact on this world instead of just receiving every step of the way. I want to experience the fullness of life whenever I live it through hard work and deep love. I want to see the world. I want to meet and taste the world. I want to know where people live and how they spend their time. This is nothing new. This travel hasn’t deeply changed me. It may have sharpened my focus in some places, but it’s created a layer of fuzz over other areas of my life that I once worked on. Travel hasn’t affected my dreams or severely shifted my reality. It has also not made me any better off a person. And, for the most part, I’m OK with that.

By Jen Hawse on Asia tagged Animals, asia, australia, beaches, indonesia, malaysia, plans, singapore, vietnam

Up, Up, and An Update!

Friends! Concubines! Fellow travellers on this long road called Life! Lend me your ears, but only for a brief moment because we’ve got to get out and explore Saigon some more! It’s been too long since I’ve posted an update. Apologies for that. Reason being, I’ve lacked reliable internet and uninterrupted computer time that hasn’t been dedicated to making future travel plans.

Pitcher plants in Bako, Borneo, Malaysia. Pitcher plants are my favorite and they were everywhere in this jungle paradise. Truly one of the best places I’ve ever been.

To date, we’ve been away from home for 156 days. Our target number of total days on the road is 330, so we’re a mere 9 days from our 1/2 way point. Time flies, as the cliche goes, but really it’s hard to believe we’ve already been to 5 countries since the start of 2017 (considering we started off in Malaysia and we’re now in Vietnam). Our budget is really fairly on track too, which is exciting! We’ve spent about 1/2 of our money and we still have two more months in Southeast Asia to “make up” for some of the more expensive things we’ve done.

All of the “rent” for our Ubud hotel room

A few days after 2017 began we headed to Australia! This was a dream of mine, but not initially of Jason’s, so it took some convincing (and discovering cheap flights) to get there. We headed to Western Australia because it was basically due south of Singapore and about $150 each way to fly there. Not bad to get another continent marked off the list! We stayed for three weeks, mostly doing a work exchange in Bullsbrook. While there we met several new friends, including Diane and Andrea. With these two we travelled south to Margaret River, renowned wine country with some of the most beautiful ocean waters I’ve ever seen. It was really difficult saying goodbye to our friends, but we do hope we’ll meet them again someday soon.

After Australia, we stayed in the Southern Hemisphere for 10 more days in Indonesia. While in Malaysia we were nearly in Indonesia, just a few miles from the border at one point during a waterfall excursion, but this time we got stamped into Denpasar, where famed Bali is located. Did you know Indonesia has the 4th largest country population in the world, right under the USA, and it’s a 17,000 island archipelago? On the small island of Bali alone there are 5 million residents and they see millions more tourists come through each year. Bali has no “industry”, but they export art and culture to the world and it’s clear why when you’re there.

While we didn’t have as much time as we expected in Bali it was still eye opening and culturally stimulating. We went to an art museum that featured both modern and historical pieces, watched Balinese dancers do a traditional performance, and went to an ancient temple in the Sacred Monkey Forest. Our hotel was nice and a little bit luxurious for our standards. They brought us breakfast every day! Prices on Bali are higher than the rest of Southeast Asia, something we didn’t know/expect going in. Didn’t break our budget, but put a dent in it. Especially since after that we went to Singapore!

The sculptures in Sacred Monkey Forest, and all over Bali, were the highlight of our trip.

I think the world’s nicest city is probably Singapore. Modern, clean, great food at reasonable prices, diverse people, and high end culture make this a top choice. Singapore is only 52 years old, making this city state one of the world’s newest countries, although it holds a rich heritage and has been a highly important seaport for centuries.

Our time was short in Singapore because it’s an expensive place. While food is priced really well, accommodations and alcohol are insanely high. Our hotel room was higher than we’d normally spend, due to the fact that we were celebrating our four year anniversary during our stay. It was worth $60 per night because, while small, it had an insanely comfy bed and a real coffee maker downstairs! No instant coffee required!

Our hotel was also in the heart of it all and we tried to walk as often as possible while there. It had been quite some time since we had an epic 12 hour adventure day, but you just needed that to fit it all in. On our adventure we went to Gardens by the Bay to explore their cloud forest, flower dome, and supertrees! These massive structures host a lights and music show after sunset for free. Glorious! We also ate at our first Michelin Star restaurant, a special anniversary lunch, for $8 for the two of us. It’s a former hawker stall turned restaurant so while the stall itself actually won the award and not the location we were at the food was still great and well worth eight bucks!

Singapore flew by and before we knew it we were in Vietnam, a country so many of my friends have fallen deeply in love with. Before arriving I couldn’t understand this love affair. Having been to a few parts of SE Asia before I figured there would be some of the same here, but Saigon thus far has been different. The prevalent art here reminds you of the 70’s, and it’s captivating to say the least. Never have I been to a place and wanted to buy so many souvenirs. I’m not a “stuff” person and sometimes finding one small token takeaway from a country is difficult (but I persevere) but being here only a few days and I want to buy it all!

Saigon is cheap. America may have lost the war, but at least they still like us here (thankfully). It’s bustling, beeping, bursting with people and banh mi. We’ve even found two craft breweries! One is named Heart of Darkness (look it up, kids) and the other features a brewer from Colorado. Regular beer is really cheap here — dangerously cheap. English isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be, at least not yet. We’ll be in Vietnam for a month in total most likely. Saturday we fly up to coast to Hanoi, the Northern capital. Then, we’ll skip over to Halong bay, train down to Hoi An and Da Lat and perhaps a few other spots, then eventually make it back to Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) to head to Cambodia for a few weeks. We’ll see Angkor Wat and Phnom Penh before going back to Thailand to make our way to a Thai beach or two.

Beaches! This is also from Bako, like the first picture.

April 5th we leave Southeast Asia and head to India! We’re going to spend two weeks there, flying into Kochi and flying out of Mumbai. Details for that are still flushing out. India is a world of it’s own, so we’ve heard, so we’re not sure what exactly to expect except to be overwhelmed.

After two weeks in India we’re meeting up with Jason’s sister and her boyfriend in Athens, Greece! We’ve made our ticket purchase on Turkish Airlines yesterday, so we have a direct flight path into Europe now! We’re heading there April 19th, a little later than originally expected, but this way we’ll be better able to make our budget happen.

Not India, but might have some similarities? This is in Malaysia at Bau.

After spending two weeks or so in Greece we’ll head over to eastern Europe for some time in Croatia, Romania, Hungary, and the Czech Republic, most likely. We’re going to spend at least a month in Eastern Europe, I imagine, as there’s so much to see and it’s so much more affordable than Western Europe. It is a dream of mine to farm in Southern France, so in June that’s what I’d like to focus on achieving, along with seeing Rome, Amsterdam (again), and a few other major cities.

Australia, very European. This is Fremantal with our friends.

In July, we meet up with my mom and Aunt Monica for a two week Ireland excursion that I am completely stoked about! We’re going to do the touristy tour stuff, which is going to be a big break from what I’ve been used to doing throughout the trip. After the touring Jason and I head to Scotland for about a month, then we fill up two more weeks of travel somewhere in Europe (or maybe Iceland 🙂 and then we head home!

That’s that! There’s the last two and a half and the next 5 months of our trip laid out in all of it’s lived and tentative glory.

Sending love to home!